I’ve definitely been ‘bad blogger’ for some time with my lack of posting. I don’t even know whether I can even call myself a blogger anymore but I thought it was about time I updated you on what’s going on in my life. (If anyone is interested that is)
Sometimes I almost forget that I have an illness, that is until Monday evening comes around and I have to find a space on my stomach that isn’t already bruised or as thick as rhino skin to inject my medication or when I have to go for my monthly blood tests. However, in around August time my platelets shot straight back up to nearly 1000 which was a stark reminder that I’m pretty much fighting a battle against my own body. Since then they have been yo yo-ing up and down so I just hope they settle and start trending downwards soon as I’m more at risk of blood clots when they’re high. Speaking of blood clots, since the blood clot on my brain in late 2014 I’ve suffered from bouts of head pain and I went through a bad patch with them recently. The first 3 weeks of December went by in a blur as I had a bad cold which knocked me over and then the head pains set in so it kind of tainted the build up to Christmas for me and made things even more last minute because I felt like a zombie for most of the month.
On a brighter note, I start a new job in early January which sounds promising, exciting and like somewhere I could build a career for myself. I do struggle with change and it is very daunting but sometimes you have to take a leap of faith. I’ve worked at my current company for nearly 5 years and I have some great memories. I’ve probably never had so much fun at work and I’ve met some amazing people there, some of whom I hope will be friends for life so I am really sad to leave them. I’ve been manically trying to get stuff done before I leave on New Year’s Eve and I was so gutted when we were told to work from home as I wanted more time with everyone.
My mood can be up and down really. Part of it could be my illness and medication, part of it anxiety and some of it down to circumstances and the effects of the pandemic. I often wonder what life may have been like without it and what memories we may have missed out on creating. It’s almost a collective grieving for the nearly two years that we’ve lost and the way things used to be. (and how much longer it’ll all go on for) Some good has come from it and I think it’s made many realise what is truly important in life, introduced a better work/life balance for some (although for others it’s blurred the boundaries even more or increased the time working and workload) and allowed people to hit pause on life. Personally, I miss seeing my family, boyfriend and friends as often and being able to plan things because there’s always that fear that it won’t go ahead or if it does, it’s much more stressful than it used to be. (Travelling abroad for example.) I was lucky enough to visit my grandparents in Spain in October and although the extra steps I had to take to travel made me anxious and stressed I’m so glad I got to see them after two years. I’ll get back there as soon as I can next year and hope that I can see them more than once in 2022.
That’s all I have to say at the moment but one of my resolutions is to blog more often but with me starting a new job who knows whether that will actually happen. I hope you all managed to find some joy in the past year and that you had a lovely Christmas. Here’s hoping that things will start to change for the better in 2022